July’s monthly favourites may be the most diverse one yet; I’ve got food, hobbies and huge life changes…and for this one, no toiletries! June/July were pretty big months for me as I finally sorted my life out and dealt with a few issues I’d been struggling with, which meant I felt so much better and was able to enjoy the other things I’ll be speaking about too!
Princessa Coconut Wafer Bars
We’ll start with something light, I’ve developed a huge obsession with these Polish coconut bars that I found at Tesco. I saw them on the reduced aisle for about 30p a bar so I picked one up and then immediately regretted not picking up more. These wafer coconut bars are really light but insanely delicious, they have a coconut wafer and then a kind of nutty-chocolate paste in between the wafers, every week that we went back shopping I went to the reduced aisle to find more, I managed to get 4 more bars and tried to make them last as long as possible (2 days) but now I haven’t seen them since.
If you’re into coconut or wafer snack bars then look out for these because they’re amazing!
So this is the more serious part of the monthly favourites, but it’s still something positive and well worth talking about. The first week of July was one of the toughest weeks I’ve faced in years, I’ve been pretty open about my recent struggles with mental health and how it didn't seem to be improving, so much so that on our holiday to Cornwall in the last week of June we ended up leaving a day early because I just started to feel horrible again.
When we got back from Cornwall my parents were able to book some therapy sessions for me just so I could speak to a professional and get some things off my chest and maybe get some answers, I never really got any answers about mental health issues but what we did say was that my job was causing a lot of this and it would be up to me to decide to either leave that job or try and make things better for myself. I’m gonna detail that first week of July so you can get a sense of how quickly everything moved for me. Also, I’m just gonna use a random picture to break up the text so it’s not too much to read!
Monday- I was honest with my job about how I'd been feeling, about my therapy sessions and what had been discussed, so I and the manager agreed to sign myself off sick for 7 days whilst I try to get myself together and decide what’s best. As soon as I left work that day, I started to feel better because I think I (and my manager) knew my mind was made up and I wouldn’t be going back to that job.
Tuesday- The next day I actually had an interview lined up for a job as an assistant music teacher at a school for special needs children, this would have been a dream job so I really gave it my best shot, I went in really nervous but tried to keep confident, as the hours went on I started to feel more and more nervous and panicky and when it came to my turn to work with the kids I broke down in tears in the hallway before going into the classroom and decided enough was enough. The headteacher took me into an office and was so kind and patient with me, I explained what had happened the day before and she thanked me for coming and said I should be proud that I wanted to try and make things better so quickly but maybe this was too much too soon this time around. So I left there early and although I was distraught, I guess I was proud that I at least tried. I got home to my partner and he was so supportive and just said the same thing that this job wasn’t the one, and that’s ok.
Wednesday- On Wednesday I applied for another job working on the checkouts at a Tesco really close to our house, I didn't expect to hear anything back but tried my very best nonetheless. I had another therapy session this evening and explained everything that had happened, my therapist laughed a little bit when I was like “yeah, I’m signed off sick, but I’m gonna leave my job tomorrow”, he said a concrete confirmation like that was positive and a decision I needed to make.
Thursday- That morning I rang the job I had been working at for three and a half years and told them I wouldn’t be coming back, again, my manager understood and was so supportive of me so I'm thankful for that. It was a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that I would never have to go back there, never have to feel the way that I felt there and I could start something fresh and new when I was ready.
Friday- That day I woke up and actually smiled, knowing I was free to do what I wanted and take things one step at a time. For the first time in months, I was happy to get out of bed and just do normal things like housework, I made a loaf of bread and enjoyed eating some of that for lunch and then waited to hear back from the Tesco job.
I did end up getting that Tesco job on the 15th July, about 6 days after I left my job, that was the quickest turnaround for a job I’ve ever had! I’m really enjoying my new job, I work evenings which means I have all day to get things done around the house, relax, and of course, get some blogging done. This huge change in my life was exactly what I needed but sometimes you need to jump head-first into a situation to actually get something out of it. I left my job with no job to go to, I had savings I knew would get me by for 3-4 months if I really struggled to find anything but thankfully I didn't need to use any of it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that although it can feel impossible to leave a situation where you feel trapped but have nothing else to go to, sometimes it's better to accept the “nothing else” where I promise you’ll always find something as long as you keep looking for something better.
This shift in my life gave me a lot more physical and mental energy to start doing more things I enjoy. One of those things is music. Music has always been a source of joy and a huge passion for me ever since I was a child, my parents brought down my old keyboard and record player from their house and I set up a little “music corner” in our living room where I could listen to my records and get back into playing the keyboard.
As a little well-done gift to myself when I got this new job I bought a book of sheet music for Taylor Swift’s album Folklore. I do like Taylor Swift but a few of her albums are too “pop” for me, I loved her album Red that was really country and when she released Folklore I went and bought it in November 2020 and it’s still in the CD player in my car and I listen to it almost every day, I’ve fallen in love with this album and I wanted to do more than just sing it in my car, so I'm working on being able to play each song on the piano and hopefully I’ll record a cover of the album on my phone and maybe put them on here for you all to see at some point…but I’m not promising anything!
The final thing to talk about this month has been something I’m so proud of. At my parents' house in Wiltshire, they have a big allotment plot and have been growing all sorts of amazing fruits and vegetables, living in our 1 bedroom attic flat I didn't really think we could do anything when it comes to growing veggies but we could! My parents gave us a couple of grow bags (which I found online for £7) and filled them with potatoes and beetroot that would take a few months to grow. We lovingly watered them and added soil when they needed it, and after 3-4 months we had a huge harvest of potatoes and a couple of beetroots!
Look at our veggies! I didn't think it would work being placed out on a flat roof behind our flat, but they found a way and we ended up with so many new potatoes that we ate over a couple of days and I still haven’t used my beetroot yet. I just ordered a box of 11 packs of veg seeds that we’re going to plant in the grow bags again, we’re aiming to grow potatoes and carrots this time, hopefully, we should have potatoes for Halloween! Once they’re planted, I’ll keep you updated on how they're doing.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading it all! July saw a lot of change for me, but all of it came to a positive end and has opened up a lot of new and exciting things for me to carry on with over the coming months. This month I hope we can get out and about a bit more in London, my partner is now fully vaccinated and I’m getting my second vaccine in a couple of weeks so that might make us feel more confident to go out and explore everything that we’ve missed in London and its surrounding areas.
I hope you’re doing ok and slowly recovering from the awful 18 months we’ve been through, I know this virus is far from over but I’m hoping the vaccines will give us all a better chance at getting back outside to our friends, family and favourite places.
See you soon,